How to Connect Deeply With Others

Connection can be hard

Notes

Sep 22, 2023

1 min read

Connecting deeply with others can be challenging, especially for an introvert like myself. I took a course (The Connection Course from the Art of Accomplishment) that shared a helpful framework for making conversations more intimate and productive. Here's a brief overview:

What is VIEW?

VIEW stands for Vulnerability, Impartiality, Empathy and Wonder. VIEW is not a technique but more so a "state of mind" that you can step into that facilitates deeper and more meaningful connection with others.

Vulnerability

In this context, vulnerability refers to the ability for you to be yourself even when it is scary. You have to fight against the visceral emotional response to self-protect in order to be vulnerable with another person.

Impartiality

Impartiality involves coming to the conversation without a specific goal or an outcome in mind. This is incredibly difficult to do because everyone always has an agenda, but the more you can work toward a common goal without dictating how that goal happens, the more connection can occur.

Empathy

This is simply being present with another person in their emotions. It means not avoiding or changing their emotions. It's simply saying, "I see you have some big feelings and I am here with you".

Wonder

This is similar to curiosity, but you're not looking for a specific answer. Curiosity can become constricted by trying to answer the question. Wonder by contrast is just relishing in the awe of the question.

When you step into a VIEW state of mind, connection deepens because the conversation relaxes and others feel seen and heard. There's no judgment or pressure. This perspective allows two people to connect with ease and relationships can grow much faster, all because of VIEW.